When he finally came home...

When he finally came home.....
Sep 24, 2008 7:01 pm

.... I was very calm. I made a point to remain even keeled and measured every move, every word and I simply said, " I know you have been with another woman, but at this point, I don't care. All I want to say is that you are without a doubt the most selfish person I know, leaving me with no money, no car, and no groceries in the house. Where you have been doesn't matter, but no one knew where you were, and your family, friends, and command; as well as I have been worried about you. I hope you found what you were searching for..."The Meteor became very angry... very quickly. He began emptying his laundry in to the basket, and I could see he had been in a home, NOT in a hotel, like he said he would have been. A home. With children. The fruity cereal stuck to the bottoms of his dirty socks was evidence of that. I knew any comments I made to him would anger him. The anger wasn't a shock. What was a shock was my indifference to it. There were more words between us. He denied being with another woman. Tried to lie. But, failed at every turn. I called him out on every false statement knowing, that he could, at any moment become physically violent. After all, what did I have to lose? My marriage was failing, a marriage I might add, that was only sacred to me. A marriage, where one spouse cheated on and abused the other. A marriage that was void of intimacy on the most important levels. A marriage, that was never REALLY a marriage to begin with. So, I ask again, what did I have to lose??So what if he got angry. So what if he got violent. Maybe then I would be free. Maybe HE would set me free. That is when, for the FIRST TIME, I realized, I WASN'T afraid of him.He did become violent. He chased me around the house. He got a hold of me in the living room. Grabbed me by the arm and slapped me in the face. I broke free of him and ran upstairs to the bedroom and shut and locked the door. Within seconds he was kicking the door off it's hinges. I was cornered. No way out. The Meteor pinned my up against the wall by my throat. He was spewing vile words in my face. "Whore!" "Slut!" "Fat Stupid Cunt!" Were among the names he called me. I was numb to it. He said "You stupid, dirty, sloppy, cunt .... I should kill you and chop you into small pieces and feed you to the coyotes? No one would care..."I struggled to speak, his large thick hand pressing into my throat, "If you are going to kill me, just do it, and get it over with, you son of a bitch! But, know this: if you let me go, I will call the police, and you will go to jail."A light bulb went off in my head. But, at the same time, it seemed as though the voice were coming from someone else. It was ME. I was the one who was speaking. I was standing up, finally FOR ME!I did not fear my death at his hands. I felt his large meaty hand pushing further into my throat. I struggled under the weight of him, as he slapped me with the hand that wasn't pinning me to the wall, and was kicking me with his feet. I forced more words from my mouth and said "Do it cocksucker! Keep at least one promise you've made to me!" He had no response. I looked at him, straight in the eyes, he was cold, his eyes were dead, I thought I really might die that day, at his lethal hands.I kept on, kept berating him, the way he had me for the four and a half years building up to this moment. I didn't back down. I couldn't. If I was going to die, then I was going to fight for my life. HE was too strong for me to fight him physically, but as long as there was air in my lungs he would hear all that was on my mind at that moment. The Meteor seemed to be unaffected by my words, but shaken by my sudden bravery, courage, and brazen behavior. He held me by the throat, to that wall for what seemed to be an eternity.