The return home.

The return home.
Originally posted on http://adultfriendfinder.com/ Feb 10, 2009 12:15 am

It took me a little while to settle into l living back at home with my parents. Especially with nothing even remotely resembling the life that I had, had.

I mean I didn't have to wake up wondering what mood anyone was going to be in... OR how much egg shell I'd be pulling out of the soles of my feet.

There was a lot to be done.

In the six years I had lived away, my parents had given my old room to my now deceased grandfather. After he passed away, my sister who moved back home at some point, took it over. Also during that time the "other" bedroom had been transformed into a home office/sewing room for my Mother. I felt guilty to be taking her space away from her, after all, she raised four kids and deserved to have something all her own. I wouldn't have moved back here, had I any place else to go.

Mom had surgery like the first week I had been back, which was good because I could clean out the home office, and make room for a small bed for myself in there, without hearing too much flack. It was rough getting used to my parents every day... as I am sure they were adjusting to me again too. We all had changed some, and at times it is difficult to acknowledge those changes in your family.

Mike came down to see me from time to time. He would tell me he was leaving his marriage, that he loved me, that he wanted to be with me, I believed at the time, and still do believe that he meant what he said. But I also know that he still hasn't left her and it has been nearly three years. I'm not that much of a fool to think that his love for me was powerful enough to overcome that tight grip she has over him. I also didn't want to build a relationship on an affair. I wanted to be in a relationship where the man I was/am with is proud to have me in his life. Where he will Cherish me, and want to flaunt that he has my love and I have his. Not this tawdry, can't REALLY tell people how we met because they might think we are unscrupulous, immoral, individuals. Either way, by October of 2006 he stopped coming to see me.

I needed to figure out what it is I wanted... even if just for the moment. Then I had one of those light bulb moments! A-HA!! I wanted sex.... and lots of it!!

I was hoping to meet one guy who I could fuck for hours on end... who wouldn't expect more than that from me. Now if only I could figure out how to meet someone like that.....

I mulled it over and thought about going to bars, signing up for dating sites, asking people at work to hook me up .... all of that was taking too long!! After all I was free to do whomever, whenever, and even those my divorce wasn't final... for all intents and purposes, I thought of myself as single. I NEEDED TO GET LAID!!!!!!!

Then I remembered this little website... the Meteor introduced me to it... Adult Friend Finder .... hmmmm ... why shouldn't I use the site... and at the very least I'll have some titillating conversation. May never amount to much, I was thinking, but perhaps I can get some good ideas to keep in my "spank bank".

I realized after posting this on AFF and recieving comments asking what a 'spank bank' is, that perhaps I needed to explain it. According to http://urbandictionary.com/ a spank bank: Noun. A zoo of images one creates in his or her mind in order to be withdrawn at a later date to be used as assisistance while pounding one out. The bank is only temporary storage and is inferior in many ways to the cellular phone camera. see also; mental picture.