The Meteor.

Sep 4, 2008 10:43 am

The Meteor, as I'll call him, came into my life fast. Made a huge impact. Death and destruction. Changed the landscape of me, permanently.At 21, I was mostly happy-go-lucky, sure I had my issues, but I was a good girl for the most part, save for my sexual proclivities. I wasn't a big drinker, in fact, I was usually a one drink and I'm buzzed type. I didn't do drugs, I had smoked pot a few times, but it mostly just made me want to eat, a lot, and made me paranoid. I was a good girl. With my relationship with Ben behind me, and the sexcapades with Rick and Jake, too, I wasn't looking to get involved with anyone. I was happy being single, working on me, being sexually empowered and confident. Perhaps my pride, blinded me so I didn't see it coming? What ever it was, it slapped me upside the head, and threw me for a loop. That's when I met the Meteor. I met him, on-line. (I have never been approached by men in the usual places, I wonder if I put off a vibe... or I am somehow intimidating). Turns out, we knew some of the same places, same people, and had even attended the same party a few weeks prior. I didn't remember meeting him, but that didn't seem important. I wasn't looking for anything... he was cool to talk to, and I was a slice of home for him. He was out west, in the military, and he was a JErsey guy through and through. He missed the food, specifically; pork roll, WaWa, Tastycakes, etc., and I was happy to oblige. We talked about going to the beaches, the cities nearby, the weather. We talked about everything and anything under the sun, and one day we were hanging up and he said "I love you", and I was taken aback. I couldn't comprehend that things were moving in THAT direction. After all, I was still hooking up. I was single. I was happy. I was just making a friend. Regardless, the Meteor had me in his sights, and he wasn't going to be satisfied until he crashed into me, full force. I told him I wasn't comfortable, saying it back to him, and that he shouldn't say it unless he meant it. But I'll admit that it was very romantic and exciting. Old Hollywood. My fairytale, could be coming true. A man that loved me, I mean ME. Without ultimatums or abuse. Without violence or pressure. He liked me, he LOVED me! I just realized, I never gave the first boyfriend a name, I'll call him BMOC, from now on.You have to understand, there are details, I have not disclosed. Anyone who can read between the lines, might get the gist of what happened with the BMOC, but, he was evil, psychotic, just to refresh your memory. He FUCKED with my head. He taught me how NOT to love myself, how to allow myself to be disrespected, and most of all, he taught me that NO ONE would ever LOVE me! I spent my teens learning those lessons, and I beat my self up, trying to un learn them. But, the Meteor, LOVED me, or so he said.It is difficult to show someone how you love them from across the country. Shortly after he told me he loved me, he was shipped off to Turkey, to police the border or some other such military thingamajig. He still called me every day, persisting that he loved me. AND that one day, he would marry me. Six months after we had 'met' on-line, we met in person. Two weeks after that, I married him.