Finally.

Finally.
Originally posted to http://adultfriendfinder.com/blog/Red_AnhedoniaJan 20, 2009 1:13 am

Finally he knew the truth of how I'd been feeling. Finally I'd been able to say everything that had been weighing on me. Finally, I could see a future WITHOUT abuse, pain or misery.

Took me long enough, eh?

So now he knew it. I was leaving him.

He wasn't even angry.

He wans't hurt.

He was defeated.

The Meteor FINALLY realized that I was not going to allow him to inflict further damage on me or my life. He was beyond powerless.

For a moment he tried to negotiate. He said he'd go to N.A. meetings, anger management, counseling, get a job, all great things I had ASKED him to do before and he refused. I told him I didn't believe him. I also told him that I could NEVER trust him.

He asked what I had planned to do. I told him that I planned to move back to my parents, but that it would be a few months before that could happen, and that in the meantime we would need to "peacefully" co-exist. He asked me what I wanted, I told him, that anything, anything material was worth nothing compared with my dignity and self-respect. He could keep it all. EXCEPT the dogs.

I wanted both dogs. Sammy and Sacha were tantamount to my children, there were times when I felt as though I personally gave birth to them. Those dogs were my lifeline, so many times they protected me, willing to sacrifice themselves to save me from a beating. Loyal. Loyal in a way no human knows how.