The days and a few weeks...

The days and few weeks....
Sep 22, 2008 4:52 pm
that followed we some of the hardest in my life to that point. I was an emotional basketcase. I didn't know what to do, how to behave, who I was supposed to be. I had compartmentalized my life, and aspects of my personality to protect myself. I had shut down the sexual side of me. I had made conceded myself to this subdued, timid, scared person. The next few days I was in and out of the emergency room due to my asthma. I cried all the time. I couldn't eat, and I certainly wasn't sleeping. It was a Tuesday when he said he wanted to leave. Two days later, on Thursday, he left me with no ride home from work. I was waiting for him to pick me up, like he said he would, and 6:15 rolled around and I was waiting outside for him to come get me. I waited about ten minutes then called the house. No answer. I waited five minutes more..... called again... and nothing. I called my neighbor, I asked if the car was in the driveway. She told me he left around 3pm, she asked if I needed her to come get me. I did. He was gone all night Thursday, all day and night Friday and Saturday, and finally Sunday he came back home. While he was gone, I took the opportunity to call his family and friends... people he may have confided in, people I also trusted. The information I was able to gather, told me that he did not do what most people do when about to make a big decision. He did not ask anyone for advice. He did not even vent to anyone about any issues within the marriage. For all anyone knew, through his eyes and mouth, I was the "perfect" wife. I started making a plan. What was I going to take with me? What was I entitled to? I had to find out a lot of information. And I had to find out fast.I went to the Mental Health Clinic, The Family Center, I even went to see The Chaplain. I went to legal, and got a very little information... but anything helped. I was also worried about him. I know, it seems stupid, foolish, or trite, but I really was worried about him. I didn't know where he was, what he was doing, who he was with... and I certainly didn't know how he was paying for it. We were broke. We didn't have the money to be spending all this time away from home.I knew I needed to talk to him, and I sat and planned out what I would say. For four days.